Your Beautiful Life
Your life is beautiful. Mired in the daily grind, focused on managing the stressful and ugly aspects of your life, you may not remember that you have a beautiful life, but you do. You’re a beautiful life exists. You don’t have to search for it, or buy it or sacrifice for it. It’s already yours. Living your beautiful life is as simple as recognizing you need to make a change.
In April 2014, I lost my job. I was literally had my walking papers, with the words “deleted” and “terminated” in bold. I was in shock and so angry. I couldn’t believe someone I had worked so hard for, someone I’ve been so loyal to, could toss me aside so easily. Despite my inner turmoil, I was gracious when my boss handed me the papers. I thanked her and even hugged her; I didn’t want her to think she got the better of me.
In the months that followed, my perfectly good life became an ugly one. I kept thinking: who am I? Am I no good? Why didn’t my boss want me? I was so devoted to my job, so loyal to her, and worked so hard. I thought we were friends. I was focused on the disappointment of losing my job, the betrayal, which began to affect my self-confidence and self-esteem. I lost my joie de vivre. Where did it go? I was looking everywhere for it.
When my former boss started telling a false story about why I left her company – that I had quit to start my own company – I was determined to tell the correct story. She fired me, and I had to go on unemployment insurance in order to support my children, and I wanted the truth to be known. I found myself living that story, telling people, “I don’t have a job. I am on unemployment.” I told the story over and over again, until it wasn’t just my temporary circumstances, it was my identity. Who is this helping? Not me! It was undermining what little confidence I had left.
Eventually I realized I had suffered a trauma and that I need professional help. I needed a complete life overhaul. It’s hard to crawl back when you are thrown into an identity crisis and have to face an uncertain future, head on. And yet, somehow deep down in my heart, I knew my termination was an opportunity. I just had to stop fixating on the ugly story and write a new, beautiful story of my own choosing.
I went in search of guidance, mentorship and support, and found a new purpose. It started with baby steps I looked for and celebrated the smallest victories. I practiced gratitude and started a journal, every night tracking the difference I made in someone else’s life. I would reflect upon the day and think about any given moment when I felt joyous – making a harried grocery store clerk laugh, finding an exquisite piece of furniture at a vintage shop, catch catching the last wisps of the sunset streaking across the sky.
As I tracked the simple pleasures of my day, the ugliness receded. I began to see a pattern, to see my own value and worth. I also noticed my interests and passions, I began to see what made me truly happy, and how to be the architect of my own beautiful life. In my search for inexpensive furnishings, I discovered and cultivated my innate ability to see beyond any perfections to the beauty within. In second-hand pieces, I imagined the history; the gorgeous patina that was the ultimate result of time and abuse made them even more beautiful to me.
In the process of transforming my life from ugly back to beautiful, I created a unique system for redesigning a life, and set on a course to share that system with as many people as possible. I can say with total honesty, I am doing exactly what I love, and I find beauty in every day.
Beautiful living is about being honest with yourself and others; it is about forgiveness. It is living from the heart. Beautiful living is about joy and kindness, generosity and grace. Beautiful living is passion, and art, and dreams and creativity. It is your spirit and purpose, the unique value you bring to the world.
In your beautiful life, anything is possible and things will always get better. Anyone can feel this, experience this, have this. And you don’t have to change jobs, or break relationships or take a dozen courses to do it. Your beautiful life sitting there right beside your ”ugly” one. You just have to open your eyes to the miracles in order to see them.
The key is to get into your own body and heart and to trust that you have the ability to tap into infinite possibilities. Set intentions for what you want in your life and keep those intentions and set reminders to yourself around your environments, with the decor and vision boards. Hold these intentions. Be honest, because it must honestly be what you want, in your heart. Be helpful, because the more you help other people get what they want, the more chance you will have of getting what you want.
Be gracious and kind, and smile, and give compliments and put a good word out there, not an ugly complaining unappreciative word. Be grateful, because you have everything you need right now and if you can’t appreciate what you have, then why would the universe send you more? Know that you will have challenges and may want to give up. You may be required to change course, but remember you can re-create and redesign your beautiful life and live the life you forgot you could dream.
There is power in your space, in your home and work environments. To live a beautiful life you need a space that supports your dreams, helps you heal, inspires you to take action. You need a haven; your home needs to be a supportive space so that you can live harmoniously and reinforce intentions you have for your life.
In my seven step system, I dedicate time to creating beautiful places in your home. The first step in my process you can do on your own. It involves doing a walkabout to observe the various areas of your home and determine if they support your life and needs. Your environments – and I mean all of them – dictate what you will do in them. When you want to make a change in your life, you need to change your environment.
For example, imagine you are single and want to attract a relationship. Do you have two comfortable chairs, or just one for you? Do you have a bed in the center of your bedroom with matching nightstands on either side? Do you have pictures of people or things in pairs, or pictures of people alone? The subconscious sees these things. Do you want the message to your subconscious to be that you are ready to welcome new relationship, or that there is no room for anyone else in your space?
Perhaps you want to improve your health. As you walk about your space, take note. Is your kitchen clean? Do you enjoy going in there to make healthy food? Do you have fresh food or instant noodles? Is there old and moldy food in the fridge? Is your pantry stocked with items that promote health? Do you sleep well? Is your bed comfortable? Are you using your bedroom part time as the TV room and an office and a fitness center? To transform your health, you need to clean kitchen will stocked with healthy food and the supplies and tools you need to make that food. You need a bedroom that is designed as a space for rest, rejuvenation and intimacy.
It is a very personal thing; everyone has different needs from their environments. But we all need to take a look at all of our spaces to see if the environment and the items in it are giving us energy or depleting it. If you were coming home every day and looking at a vase your ex-partner gave you and you are not on good terms, you feel angry every time you look at it. Does it matter that the vase is expensive, that it was the only gift they ever gave you, or even that you like it? No. Get rid of it.
Your subconscious mind processes emotional attachments in a split second, and as you move through your space your brain is madly assessing and processing everything. And you wonder why you were overwhelmed and exhausted? Keep only the things that inspire you and send good and appropriate messages to your subconscious, messages that support and reinforce the happiness and joy you want in your beautiful life.
You can live a beautiful life right now, but it can take work every day to feel like a beautiful person. You don’t just clear clutter once just as you don’t make a deposit into your savings account once. You must create a practice of making beautiful, honest, gracious choices with your beautiful life. I practise every day to maintain and expand and grow the beauty of my life. The more I become unconsciously competent with my daily practice, the more I am able to share and help others to create their own.
The very first step is taking responsibility for your life. You may not have been responsible for the wounds or life events that form to the person you are now and the life you live currently, but you are responsible for making the commitment to move past them. Forgive the past and the people who were part of the ugly story you have been telling yourself.
You are the one who allows yourself to not feel of value, and it just as easy to tell yourself you are worthy as it is to tell yourself that you are not. Accept the responsibility that you are the one who allows the story to continue and know that you have power to tell a new story: the new story of your fabulous, bold and beautiful life.
Your beautiful life begins now.